


One day, three autumns.

by ninassield



Series: Chengyu [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 09:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3524942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninassield/pseuds/ninassield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise reflects on the complexities of moving on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One day, three autumns.

Nothing, no evil force or cruel divine joke, could ever rival the unbelievably painful awareness crawling into his system, snaking in his organs like liquid smog polluting his body.  
  
Awareness was dangerously close to  _acceptance_ , which is something Kise couldn't stand for.   
  
Ever.  
  
  
Well, it's not like he didn't know.  
  
He knew it the exact moment his eyes focused on Midorima approaching him in the waiting room with the infamous armor of plastic pity, the one doctors usually wear when they're given the burden of delivering the news.  
  
He knew, he  _unquestionably_  knew, and honestly...how could he not?  
How could he  _not_ notice the immense shift in the air, the void growing wider and wider right beneath his lungs?   
How could a lover, any damn lover worth of the label,  _not_  sense his beloved's demise?  
  
Yes, Kise knew.  
He _knew_.  
  
He just couldn't bring himself to accept it.

 

* * *

 

 

Since the man he loved ceased to exist, he started feeling the monumental weight of his own survival curving his shoulders, mouling him, tearing life from his flesh and sucking the blood right out of his veins.  
  
He was half a person living half a life, plain and simple.  
  
Was it unfair? Definitely.  
Was it painful? Very.  
Was it right? It didn't have to be, really.   
  
Kise Ryouta made it.  
  
Aomine Daiki didn't.  
  
Nothing left to dwell over.

 

* * *

 

 

A couple of eons ago, Kise learned how to play the piano.  
  
_"What if I play the piano on our wedding, Aominecchi?"_  
_"Ha? The piano? You know nothing about that shit, Kise."_  
  
_His cheeks puffed spectacularly as he furrowed his brows and rapidly stood up from the sofa, pointer shaking vehemently under his boyfriend's nose._  
  
_"Just you wait, Aominecchi! I'll be the one playing our song!"_  
_Aomine raised a brow, seemingly amused by the whole thing, and shook his head in playful disbelief._  
_"Fine, I get it. It's a challenge though, alright? Do your best and prove me wrong."_

 

* * *

 

 

His cold fingers flew on the keys as the complex mechanism of strings and wood produced the sound he knew so well by now.  
It was heartbreaking, agonizing, joyless - yet he insisted on relentlessly torturing himself with that melody, for minutes and hours and days.  
  
He wasn't going to stop.  
  
Kise was unbreakable stealth standing its ground against the flames, adamant in his resolve.  
  
He had to play.  
He had to play  _for him._  
  
Not that he'd ever be able to listen.

 

* * *

 

 

Humanity has a pretty unique way of conveying wisdom, right?  
  
We were given the ability to find meaning in little things, lifeless objects, astral conjunctions.  
  
Now, if Kise was to explain it, he'd say we're mechanically programmed to read between the lines and  _understand_ , just like that.  
  
How many concise but meaningful sayings did we craft?  
How many secret connotations did we mend to the stars?  
  
That's just how it is, that's just how we _are_.  
  
Kise Ryouta isn't an exception, no.  
Kise Ryouta is the rule.  
  
And so, as years go by, there is an old Chinese chengyu that Kise often chants during his sleepless nights, when he wants nothing more than the salty feeling of tears and yet his eyes are as dry as the Sahara at midday.  
  
_One day, three autumns._  
  
When greatly missing someone, surviving one day means surviving three years.

**Author's Note:**

> Written on a whim, I thought about this pairing as soon as I read the chengyu.  
> I seriously need to stop writing angst though, damn it.   
> Also, I'm on [Tumblr](http://ninassield.tumblr.com) as well!


End file.
